A friend, Dr. Anna, has just started knitting. Yay, Dr. Anna! Word is she’s making a scarf for her husband as a first project. As inspiration to her and other new (or soon to start) knitters out there, I would like to present my first ever knitted object – known in some circles as The Ugliest Hat in America.
This hat design is knit flat, with decreases at the top to shape the crown. The sides are then sewn together to make a cone and *poof!* a hat is born. The first iteration, however, was too small, so I decided to knit up a wedge-shaped piece and sew it in place to increase the hat’s circumference. “Ingenious!”, I thought. “I am a master of knitting and geometry!” I also decided that it was too short, so I added additional length to the whole thing.
Unfortunately, I was out of the original yarn.
At the time, the dark green yarn seemed like a nice, coordinating color – brown, orange, green…like a walk through the woods on a brisk Fall day. Upon further reflection, however, it just looks like crap. Notice also the odd hump formed by the top of the green wedge – evidence of my poor (aka absent) geometric calculations.
You may be saying, “This is supposed to be inspiring?”
Yes! Take heart, noble novice knitter! No matter how many stitches you drop or how uneven your gauge is, your first project is bound to be better than this!
Mr. Hipp, dear soul that he is, actually loves wearing this hat. He puts it on when he is sick and claims it makes him feel better. He also likes to wear it when playing flag football or Ultimate Frisbee on chilly nights, mostly because it can get trampled in the mud without looking worse. Here is how he usually wears it: green wedge in the front (to mask the odd hump) and a patient smile on his face.